My Story of surviving child abuse in a cult

My Story

The story starts in the year 1979.  My parents had fallen in love with one another at work.  Mum was a devout Catholic and my Father a Protestant.  Mum was raised in an abusive household, where often she was physically abused as were her siblings.  My Grandfather was an alcoholic.  My poor Grandmother only stayed with him for the sake of keeping the family together.  If she spoke out she would get beaten also.  My Father on the other hand was raised in a broken home, were my Paternal Grandfather had left when he was 6 years old, leaving my Paternal Grandmother to care for 4 children by herself.  Times were tough in the 50’s through to the 70’s.  I admire her efforts.

So back to 1979 and roughly around the fall of that year, my conception started.  Mum was a rebel, she constantly rebelled against her Father, so to find out she was pregnant with me, came as a bit of a shock and then anger hit my Grandfather.  He told her to abort me, that I was just a foetus.  Mum though told him no, and then went out and got married to my Father late 1979.

So about March, maybe April 1980 my Father was visited upon by two of Jehovah’s Witnesses.  Whilst I was still in the womb, he was offered a free home bible study.  Dad was interested in this because, the only bible he had ever looked at, had old style English language, which he failed to comprehend at times.  I think it was the King James although I cannot be 100% sure.  So to be shown this book, called New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures, intrigued my father.  It was written in plain English.  Finally he could get to know God he mused.

Continue reading “My Story of surviving child abuse in a cult”


Christmas, I was not allowed

So if you have not figured it out yet, my blog is mainly about my experiences or about my hate for the evil practices within a religious sect, cult whatever you wish to call it. I myself use the word cult throughout my blog and so will continue to do so.

As a child, Christmas was withheld from us.  “It’s PAGAN!” came the cries of many Jehovah’s Witnesses.  This was a belief from the year 1927.  Before this, Jehovah’s Witnesses did celebrate Christmas.

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“We reject apostate driven lies”, says Stephen Lett – (Governing Body Member of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society and Jehovah’s Witnesses)

Lies?  LIES?

Read all this new information that has become publicly available yourselves and then come to your own conclusions.

Given what I experienced, I know I am not lying Stephen.  And neither are these other survivors of the child sexual abuse perpetuated onto them and the cover ups that has been going on for so long.

Continue reading ““We reject apostate driven lies”, says Stephen Lett – (Governing Body Member of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society and Jehovah’s Witnesses)”

Honor what God has yoked together.

Adam meme

Nice headline? Well if you are christian of course it is.  Of course you believe that God yoked your union, blessed it and all that lovely stuff.

Great start.  But what if that union was somewhat not all that it was cracked up to be. What if one of those spouses was abusive towards the other? What would you do? I know what I would do.  Many people would (eventually) seek help from organisations such as Women’s Aid or The National Domestic Violence Helpline.

These organisations prove to be just a couple of the many out there, ready to help others and we know men get abused too but my blog is merely subjective of women this time because the organisation that I flame when they release yet some more, shocking material is anti-gay and expects women to be submissive to men.  So sorry snowflakes if I burst your bubble a little bit here when I say this one is mainly directed at those women.  The evidence I have is golden in that, it verifies exactly 100% how Watchtower feel about women in abusive relationships.

I refer you to December’s Watchtower Magazine which is the study article (meant only for JW’s but they no longer keep it secret because we called them out on their secrecy to the public) which shows just how much they applaud women who stay in abusive relationships.  They also seem to think that it is only men who are not JW’s that will carry out this brutal, selfish, unkind and totally inhumane act towards their JW women.

I need to leave names out so I will call them Bob and Rachel.  (Not their real names)

Bob was a ministerial servant in my old congregation here in Scotland and was married to the lovely Rachel.  They looked like the perfect couple at the Kingdom Hall (JW church) out in the field service (JW bible bashing at your door on a Saturday morning) and at the group study on a Tuesday evening (a bible study which was parts of the congregation held in smaller groups at one of the JW’s houses)

They looked like the perfect couple, always clean, well dressed.  He had a car a good paying job, they had a beautiful house all bought and paid for and she had the OCD of keeping it clean.  I don’t know if she always had it.  We knew there were problems eventually.  She came to the hall once with a black eye, and sun glasses to cover it up.  He got smarter and bruised her in other places which could be brushed off as an accident.  Then one Thursday evening, Rachel was not there.  We asked Bob if she was ok.  She was not.  She was in hospital but apparently did not want to worry anyone and that she would be out in the morning.  He would let us know when we could come an see her.

Well, it was a few weeks before we got to see her and only at home.  So we went, and she  in quite a panicked state, said she was not expecting visitors, should have phoned first so she could tidy up a bit.  The house was spotless.  Gleaming in fact, probably cleaner than Buckingham Palace.  It was so clean it was like you just walked into a show home.  As far as I am aware they are still Jehovah’s Witnesses to this day.  They had a daughter somewhere between the late nineties to early noughties. I have no idea where they are now, whether Rachel decided that enough was enough and kicked Bob out or go to one of the organisations (not watchtower of course) mentioned above to help her.  I don’t know if he finally did it and killed her after all his brutal beatings towards her.  I have no clue.

So I find it quite astonishing that Watchtower is even suggesting in print (even though all us apostates already knew this) that domestic abuse is not a reason to leave a husband.  Fancy that! Getting the shit beat out of you by the man you fell in love with and are losing love for every single day, scared of every single day is not enough reason in Watchtowers eyes to leave? Like women who stay with their abusive men are revered to high status, whilst the others who left only get a quick mention? And what about the children who are caught up in the midst of all of this chaos in their own homes?  What do they do when they see their daddy hitting their mother.  What do they do when they hear her cry at night.  They are just children and they should not have to continually witness such events because you told the mother to go back home with him and pray more to jehovah.

Watchtower just what the actual hell are you playing at? Playing with people’s lives in this way.  And just before some “worlding” bites my head off for this and says well she should know to go to the police, sorry no she does not.  Not in that organisation.  Watchtower is literally God.  The elders are revered to high statuses so they always take their problems to them.  They don’t want satan’s media (according to them) involved.  They don’t want more blackening of the name Watchtower or JW dot org whatever they are calling themselves nowadays.  No.  They call the Sweep It Under the Carpet Division and keep it secret.

I have literally had enough of this organisation destroying families.  These women should be encouraged to contact the police, not go back to dear old hubby, and pray each time he raises his fists.  NO!  ENOUGH!  Watchtower you are sanctioning the act of abuse from the young to the old.  Enough of these human rights atrocities.

You can read here, their inane drivel  for yourself.

And watchtower, before you have a go at me for copyright, well this is just an excerpt of what you have stated in your magazine.  Just in case you decide to, oh I don’t know, delete and say we never said that.

Inane drivel.png

I wonder how the governments of the world are going to feel, about this one. Maybe this will make them shut your cult down? A cult that is telling it’s members to stay in abusive relationships?  RUSSIA WAS RIGHT!

Father’s Day!


Today on the 17th June 2018 is father’s day.  The kids have all this excitement in them, to treat the man that fathered them and still is to this day.  I have seen this happen in front of my own eyes with my own little cherubs.  Their faces light up with pride and happiness, giving their father a gift is a special thing.  But the relationship between father and son and father and daughter is unlike any other.  It’s knowing Daddy will sort it.  It’s knowing that he will always be there, protecting the home, shooting the imaginary monsters hiding in the cupboard and being childlike whilst also being able to pull off that serious demeanour when they have done something naughty.

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After I went public


This is my story to tell and I have told it.

I told some of it to Betsan Powys, a reporter for the BBC.  I appeared anonymously on Panorama Suffer the little children.   It aired in 2002.

Why did I go anonymous? Simply because I was ashamed.  I was ashamed this had happened to me.  I felt somewhat guilty, because that was what I was made to feel by the shepherds called Elders who lorded over the congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses I was part of.  That imprinting stuck with me right on into my adult years.

Finally, 15 years on from this I went completely public with my story here.

I was asked many questions from family members why now? Why did I do this?  After all this time surely I would be able to put this all to bed.  He’s been convicted, he has paid his dues, his time in prison etc etc.

Why did I do this?  

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IMPORTANT Announcement regarding GDPR Laws, the XJW and the Jehovah’s Witnesses currently attending Kingdom Halls around the world.

Like the title says this is important and is a matter of urgency to get this out to people who now say, they can tell Watchtower to delete their files.

Please listen to Alex as she explains what this means for child abuse victims or anyone who is on the road to suing Watchtower at the moment or somewhere down the road in the future.

As many people are aware, according to new GDPR LAWS mandated by the EU, now means that Watchtower have now written this form for all congregants within the organisation.

Do not put anything into writing to Watchtower until you have sought LEGAL ADVICE

Please read the following web page at JWVICTIMS.ORG for more details. And please, share, mirror create a blog post or whatever to get this important information out to every xjw and pimo JW on the earth.

Jehovah’s Witness Bullies me and others online! #BeKind


When we were young we had a saying

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”

How untrue those last words from the rhyme are.  In the age of social media, people getting access to the internet words can equally kill you.   The internet is a great place for people to relax and air their baggage.  But it is equally a dangerous place if the person wielding it, use it to hurt, maim and attack.

Continue reading “Jehovah’s Witness Bullies me and others online! #BeKind”

Two imagination works for after Armageddon.

I came across a story some years ago here and thought it would be interesting to share with the public just how the mindset of a JW is, in reference to Armageddon.

Armageddon to JW’s is the war of God.  He will rain down fire and brimstone and all the wicked will be destroyed.  The JW, will work hard for the organisation because when that day comes in their mind, they don’t want to be caught out doing nothing.

I am going to split this into 2 parts.  Because there are actually 2 stories.

The first one comes from the imaginations of former JW Michael R Pendley.  The second one comes from a JW.

After Armageddon

Continue reading “Two imagination works for after Armageddon.”